The side sleeper setup: pillow height, knee pillow, and what to do with your arms

Waking up with a sore hip, a dead arm or your top knee jammed on the bottom one? Lying on your side leaves three gaps, between your head and the mattress, between your knees, and in front of your chest where your arms end up. Most side sleepers fill the first one and leave the other two alone.

The quickest one to fix is the knees. A Knee Pillow between them, C$28.99, and there's no more knee on knee all night. Below is how to set up all three, with a check for each you can do in your own bed tonight.

The 4-part setup

1. A head pillow that keeps your nose in line with the middle of your chest.
2. A pillow between your knees.
3. Your bottom arm in front of you, not under your head.
4. A spare pillow to hug for your top arm.

Pillow height: fill the gap to your shoulder

On your side, your shoulder holds your body up off the mattress, so there's a gap between your ear and the bed. The pillow fills that gap so your head sits level, not tipped down to the mattress and not pushed up to the ceiling.

The check: lie on your side the way you normally fall asleep and get someone to look at you from behind, or take a photo with your phone propped on the dresser. Your nose should line up with the middle of your chest. Head tilts down, the pillow is too low. Tilts up, it's too high.

Two things change the height you need. Broad shoulders leave a bigger gap than narrow ones, so two people in the same bed can need different pillows. And a soft mattress lets your shoulder sink in, so you need less height, while a firm one holds you up and you need more. Just changed mattresses and your old pillow suddenly feels wrong? That's usually why.

Folding your pillow in half or stacking a second one under it every night means it's too low. Waking up with your bottom arm shoved under it means it's too high.

A pillow shaped to your head

A flat pillow is the same height everywhere, so your head pushes a dip into it and the dip moves when you do.

Our Contour Pillow is memory foam with a hollow in the middle for your head and a raised wing on each side. The foam sinks slowly under you and comes back up when you get up. You can lie on your back or your side on it, handy if you start on your back and wake up on your side. 50 x 30 cm, the cover zips off to wash, C$39.99 in white, gray or blue.

Knee pillow for side sleepers: stop the knee on knee

On your side your top leg falls forward and down until its knee lands on the bottom one. Your hips twist a little and the top knee rests on bone all night.

A pillow between your knees keeps them stacked with space between, so the top leg stays level with your hip instead of dropping. Some people try a normal pillow for this and wake up with it on the floor.

The check: lie on your side for a minute and notice where your top knee ends up. If it slides forward past the bottom one, or you can feel one knee pressing on the other, you need a pillow between your knees.

How to use a knee pillow

1. Lie on your side with your knees bent the way you normally sleep.
2. Put the pillow between your knees with the dip on top, so your knees settle into it.
3. Slip the elastic band over one leg.
4. Roll over when you want to. The band keeps the pillow with you, so the same setup works on both sides.

Ours is memory foam, 25.5 x 18 x 18 cm, and the cover zips off. C$28.99 in gray, pink or teal.

Your arms: give them somewhere to go

Nobody sets up their arms, so they find their own spot, and it's usually a bad one.

Your bottom arm. Shoving it under the pillow or under your head puts your head's weight on it for hours, which is how you wake up with it dead. Try it in front of you instead, bent at the elbow with your hand near your face, or straight out along the mattress.

Your top arm hangs forward off your shoulder and pulls you towards your front. Hugging a spare pillow gives it something to rest on at shoulder height, so it isn't dangling and your top shoulder isn't rolling forward. Any soft pillow works for this.

Sleeping next to someone who snores? Our guide on how to sleep next to someone who snores covers that side of the bed.

Not sure how to place the knee pillow? Our guide on how to use a knee pillow for side sleeping goes through it step by step.

Check it again

Once it's all set up, do the photo check one more time. Nose in line with your chest, knees apart, arms in front of you.

Not sure which pillow fits how you sleep? Our pillow quiz takes five questions. Both pillows in this guide are in our side sleepers collection, and if you're starting with one, start with the Knee Pillow at C$28.99, shipped free to 96 countries.

Want something longer than a knee pillow? Body pillow for side sleepers covers the 130 cm U shaped body pillow.